Turnpike Thoughts

I am currently riding home from Epcot on the bus with OPUS. I obviously am not posting what I am writing immediately as I have no internet in transit, but I decided to take the time and write what I was thinking about anyway. It seemed a quick cure to both the boredom and the fact that I am totally lost within my own mind at the moment. Something about being back with high school kids messed up my mind; inside I was just screaming “I want to back in Gainesville (not home, mind you) right now!” I don’t know if it was the gossip, or the childishness, or the fact that kids in high school totally think they are the shit when in actuality, they are far from being anything worthwhile. Not everyone; I do have my friends that I enjoyed seeing, and true, college people aren’t necessarily the paradigm of maturity, but still. I didn’t think I would want to go back to college immediately, but as far as I am witnessing I want out of Stuart ASAP. There is nothing going on here, the company is dry, and now with Mike in my mind a good portion of the time I just can’t help being dissatisfied with the state of things at home. The house is a mess, my mom doesn’t know about me (which strains nearly all of our conversations, it seems), and yeah, I just want to go home…back to Beaty, ugh. Aside from having to live there my experience in Gainesville is so profoundly more enjoyable than being stuck at home, and frankly, that fact scares me. I didn’t think I’d feel that this quickly but I definitely do.

Anyway, I just had second thoughts about whether or not I want to post what I just typed or not. I guess I’ll have to think some more about it- it still feels good to put thoughts into words, even if in the end the only person that sees it is Jenni reading over my shoulder. Haha. Well, I decided to post it…so, talk to you later- it’s Christmas Eve now….amazing. Goodnight.