Gaydar? Hah.

So sudden-blogging-itis has struck me once again...figures because I am under my old familiar magnolia tree in the Plaza of the Americas. I also seem to be in a very rhetorical question kinda mood as well...so here goes.

A guy just walked by that, had I not seen him at a gay party, I would have never eexpected was gay. All too often I make assumptions that these guys stimply have to be straight. And it made me think- how many of me are there out there? How many of these cute guys that I look at all day long really arent the straight homophobes that I made them out to be? There are statistics that prove that gay men exisit...but finding the ones that dont bleed gayness is so impossible. I always tell myself that all these cuties are straight....but how many arent. And I wonder...how many of the ones that arent see me and simply assume the same about me? How many possibilities with straight acting hot boys have simply been thrown away because either they or I has made a false assumption?

I guess I'll never know...but the frustration contained therein is just so....bah! I know sometime fate will work in my favor...it just sucks that I desire something that has been made so nearly impossible to achieve. Be it society, or choice, or whatever, gayness is just always so secretive- unless you wear your sexuality on your sleeve. And people bitch about this stereotype...but can you blame them? At least other people know that they are gay and they arent glossed over all the time by people who are just speculative or assured that "oh, he's hetero." To me, they are inevitably the happy ones. Let me just say that being in the closet was one thing; finding someone in this newly lit up auditorium is almost just as difficult.