Monday Musings

I feel like I owe my blog a post. I have nothing new to report though, nothing that I want to mention online, anyway. I feel happy today; although It isn't really a new happiness, whenever happiness overpowers negativity it is always for the same reason. Unfortunately I am currently unable to write, or put my feelings into words that make sense and that say what I want them to say. I think I am somewhat distracted...people seem to hold that power over me for some reason. I am waiting by Century Tower for Erica...it is another gorgeous day here. I could sit outside for hours on days like this. And there is always a steady stream of interesting, attractive, eclectic people ...even between classes. Something to occupy my time anyway. I often wonder what people think of me as they walk by, not out of concern but curiosity. That kid, with his little Apple laptop...typing, looking up, typing, looking up....listening to his iPod. I know what I would think of me..but I wonder if whatever I appear to be makes me less attractive to the people that I am attracted to. I guess I shouldn’t think of such things, it only leads to over thinking which leads to mental masochism. On another random note..in case you were wondering why my blogs have taken a turn towards the positive...it is because I recently realized how unattractive self loathing can be. People, including myself (almost hypocritically), don't find it attractive, cool, or anything. Confidence is hot...as much as you hate the vain people, the conceited ones, the assholes...you ultimately masturbate to them later. Why? It is a question deeply rooted in confusion. I don't want to be a son of a bitch, but I don't want people to read my blog and think, oh wow...this kid has issues. It is about as quick a turn off as anything. So that is why. Given, I should have realized sooner....but better late than never. I think that about sums up this post. And Erica still isn’t here....surprised? not really. Have a good day.