New Orleans: Part Three
Third in a three part post; times and dates of posts approximated
So the concert is over. The trip is over. It was a great one, considering I came into it only knowing one or two people not very well. I made some new friends (one of which I will explain shortly) and experienced some crazy things down in the French Quarter. Even tho I was sober the entire time, it was easy to enjoy the carelessness of the environment. Overall it was a great great great experience.
I am currently on the bus back. I should be sleeping considering I got zero hours of sleep last night (again, I will explain shortly). I slept from when we left to when we were forced to eat grease-monkey fast food…so that’s about 3 hours…but er, I am exhausted to say the least. I don’t know how I am supposed to get up tomorrow at 8:30 am to go to theory, homework in hand. Ugh. School needs to be over..NOW. But yeah, I should explain what I was gonna explain. It really ended the trip on a great note.
There was this boy on the first day of rehearsal whom I noticed. He was cute. He had a great smile and a really cute haircut. The thing was, however, that I knew he was gay from the second I saw him. This should, in theory, make the guy more attractive, knowing that he is attainable and all. But for some reason, it makes me a bit standoffish. I tried not to flirt with him, to make him wonder whether I was gay or not, I didn’t want to make him think that I thought he was cute..I mean, geesh: he was too gay for me, right?
Well, I guess I was wrong. At dress rehearsal (and after continuing to notice each other during other rehearsals and things) he introduced himself to Philip and I (Philip being one of the guys I got to know better on this trip- he rocks). He seemed nice enough, still had those tendencies that I normally wouldn’t have liked all that much, but I was glad I had a name to match a face with. I always feel bad when I meet gay boys and I initially don’t want to have anything to do with them: Why do I constantly ostracize myself from gayness..and then whine in unhappiness? It’s great to be straight acting and all (and I am still not going to change how I act; I act like the person I feel that I am, I’m not putting any fronts or facades on) but sometimes I feel like if I just accepted the more gay guys rather than initially shying away…well, whatever.
Later, after the concert, and after I realizing I would probably never see this kid again (I found myself wanting to give him my myspace.com profile and stuff..some urge to get to be his friend was really on my mind) he runs into all of us in the hotel. We were all about to go out to eat/drink (It was like 11) and we talked some more. He blew me away when he had the courage to ask if I was gay. I told him the truth, of course. I realized I would never have the balls to go up to a potential gay boy and ask him that. There are plenty of times I’ve wanted to, but something in me has said...he wont be, even if he’s questioning he wont admit it to you: he will be a homophobic asshole instead. But yeah. I was really floored that he asked me straight out. I told him that we had to go eat (poor high schoolers had to stay at the hotel all night..gotta love curfews) but that I would find him later.
When I got back, we talked. I was reluctant at first: I felt kinda bad (for him) about meeting someone new knowing full well it couldn’t go anywhere (he is from California, after all). And then my guy in Gainesville, which is going really well...and I had no reason whatsoever to undermine that. So yeah, I went in with the intentions of meeting a friend..and I hoped that would be ok with him (since my friends said he prolly just wanted to kiss a college boy and that was it, I was worried).
I guess you could say he ended up blowing me away. Here I was thinking very stereotypically, with the help of my friends: a femme guy, young, “there’s gonna be nothing in common and he is gonna make me so uncomfortable” right? Well, I guess that wasn’t the case since we talked for 8 hours. The time just passed; we were both admittedly zonked but when the sun rose and we still were sitting in the lobby talking and it didn’t seem so strange. I didn’t sleep for more than 5 minutes all night (I think at around 7:45am I nodded off on him..lol). But yeah, I never thought I could connect with a guy that was that..gay. I’ve never had problems with feminine guys, but never have I had so much in common or have I been able to talk about so much. He is a great guy and it is really depressing that we had to go our separate ways. But the fact that I met such a cool person on this random New Orleans trip is really rewarding to me. I am so happy he seeked me out and made an effort to talk to me.
The coolest thing though is that he really proved that stereotypes are shit. Here I was making these predispositions about this guy, this stranger, that were obviously closeminded. Sure, I have feminine friends, but it was more of a reluctant thing. I learn through situations like this that I really am not as open as I would like to be. He just made me realize so much, and I am so so happy we met, because not only was he nice and understanding and cute, but he made me realize that just cause I act differently than most gay guys doesn’t mean I can't relate to them and get along with them really well. I am really glad I got a new and meaningful friendship, albeit across the country.I realize now that I am like the only person that went and made a new friend. I mean, everyone else was close-minded to the “stupid high schoolers” but since I was just one of them last year I guess I could relate. Definitely not a bad ending to the trip.
But yeah, I should end this post..its definitely a long one….gotta do something on the bus I guess. So thus ends the trilogy of New Orleans posts; back to normalcy on the next one.
So the concert is over. The trip is over. It was a great one, considering I came into it only knowing one or two people not very well. I made some new friends (one of which I will explain shortly) and experienced some crazy things down in the French Quarter. Even tho I was sober the entire time, it was easy to enjoy the carelessness of the environment. Overall it was a great great great experience.
I am currently on the bus back. I should be sleeping considering I got zero hours of sleep last night (again, I will explain shortly). I slept from when we left to when we were forced to eat grease-monkey fast food…so that’s about 3 hours…but er, I am exhausted to say the least. I don’t know how I am supposed to get up tomorrow at 8:30 am to go to theory, homework in hand. Ugh. School needs to be over..NOW. But yeah, I should explain what I was gonna explain. It really ended the trip on a great note.
There was this boy on the first day of rehearsal whom I noticed. He was cute. He had a great smile and a really cute haircut. The thing was, however, that I knew he was gay from the second I saw him. This should, in theory, make the guy more attractive, knowing that he is attainable and all. But for some reason, it makes me a bit standoffish. I tried not to flirt with him, to make him wonder whether I was gay or not, I didn’t want to make him think that I thought he was cute..I mean, geesh: he was too gay for me, right?
Well, I guess I was wrong. At dress rehearsal (and after continuing to notice each other during other rehearsals and things) he introduced himself to Philip and I (Philip being one of the guys I got to know better on this trip- he rocks). He seemed nice enough, still had those tendencies that I normally wouldn’t have liked all that much, but I was glad I had a name to match a face with. I always feel bad when I meet gay boys and I initially don’t want to have anything to do with them: Why do I constantly ostracize myself from gayness..and then whine in unhappiness? It’s great to be straight acting and all (and I am still not going to change how I act; I act like the person I feel that I am, I’m not putting any fronts or facades on) but sometimes I feel like if I just accepted the more gay guys rather than initially shying away…well, whatever.
Later, after the concert, and after I realizing I would probably never see this kid again (I found myself wanting to give him my myspace.com profile and stuff..some urge to get to be his friend was really on my mind) he runs into all of us in the hotel. We were all about to go out to eat/drink (It was like 11) and we talked some more. He blew me away when he had the courage to ask if I was gay. I told him the truth, of course. I realized I would never have the balls to go up to a potential gay boy and ask him that. There are plenty of times I’ve wanted to, but something in me has said...he wont be, even if he’s questioning he wont admit it to you: he will be a homophobic asshole instead. But yeah. I was really floored that he asked me straight out. I told him that we had to go eat (poor high schoolers had to stay at the hotel all night..gotta love curfews) but that I would find him later.
When I got back, we talked. I was reluctant at first: I felt kinda bad (for him) about meeting someone new knowing full well it couldn’t go anywhere (he is from California, after all). And then my guy in Gainesville, which is going really well...and I had no reason whatsoever to undermine that. So yeah, I went in with the intentions of meeting a friend..and I hoped that would be ok with him (since my friends said he prolly just wanted to kiss a college boy and that was it, I was worried).
I guess you could say he ended up blowing me away. Here I was thinking very stereotypically, with the help of my friends: a femme guy, young, “there’s gonna be nothing in common and he is gonna make me so uncomfortable” right? Well, I guess that wasn’t the case since we talked for 8 hours. The time just passed; we were both admittedly zonked but when the sun rose and we still were sitting in the lobby talking and it didn’t seem so strange. I didn’t sleep for more than 5 minutes all night (I think at around 7:45am I nodded off on him..lol). But yeah, I never thought I could connect with a guy that was that..gay. I’ve never had problems with feminine guys, but never have I had so much in common or have I been able to talk about so much. He is a great guy and it is really depressing that we had to go our separate ways. But the fact that I met such a cool person on this random New Orleans trip is really rewarding to me. I am so happy he seeked me out and made an effort to talk to me.
The coolest thing though is that he really proved that stereotypes are shit. Here I was making these predispositions about this guy, this stranger, that were obviously closeminded. Sure, I have feminine friends, but it was more of a reluctant thing. I learn through situations like this that I really am not as open as I would like to be. He just made me realize so much, and I am so so happy we met, because not only was he nice and understanding and cute, but he made me realize that just cause I act differently than most gay guys doesn’t mean I can't relate to them and get along with them really well. I am really glad I got a new and meaningful friendship, albeit across the country.I realize now that I am like the only person that went and made a new friend. I mean, everyone else was close-minded to the “stupid high schoolers” but since I was just one of them last year I guess I could relate. Definitely not a bad ending to the trip.
But yeah, I should end this post..its definitely a long one….gotta do something on the bus I guess. So thus ends the trilogy of New Orleans posts; back to normalcy on the next one.
posted by Mark at 3:42:00 PM
2 Comments:
mark is a total laundry sellout but whatev man...you didnt hear this from me lol signed, The unbearded Dandy!!!
so, i'm not sure if we ended our conversation with you thinking i was angry. maybe i was angry, but i'm petty and jealous and sick and not thinking clearly. it's a half-assed appology, but it's an appology still.
~e
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