A Week Later...

Here I am, still alive..one week of being 19 accomplished. Time just keeps on keeping on, it seems. It has been a good week, made great just recently...::happy sigh:: Who would have thought that something..someone...would have come out of Valentine's Day, of all trite occurances in life!? Alas, stranger things have happened I guess. I am still pretty ear-to-ear, though. Anyway, I just read Erica's Blog and saw that she was so happy about going home.... It made me sincerely wish I could feel that desire to go back home, to see my friends, and be happy about it. But, for some reason, even though I ended up here alone on my birthday, I don't regret not going home. It isn't anything against the people, no, not that at all. But, something about Stuart, about having spent 18 years of my life there, about seeing cats and parents and broken signs and elderly people and ...yeah. Something just makes me want to distance myself more and more and more. I realized also, in sitting here alone on my birthday....that it really makes me happy that I only have a few months left here in this cement box. I look around at my clutter and my clothes all over the floor (because there is no place to storage them) and my food by my desk (because there is no room left in the cabinet) and I just smile...because I know my days in Beaty are starting to be numbered. This feeling is just...fantastic. I was waiting for the bus today with Josh (the reason for my ::happy sigh:: from earlier) and I also realized that bussing next year won't be as terrible as I thought it would be. It comes every few minutes, it is pretty reliable, and sure, it's more time consuming than living on campus..but I compare the living conditions of Beaty and Melrose in my mind and its like..wow. Happiness. I hope my friendship with EricaRose will survive the turmoil of the past semester, considering we are living together next year...I think it will, but I don't want to ignore all that's happened (or lack thereof) and move on either, because that simply wouldn't be fair. Some sort of progress has to be made, you know? But, alas, that is a different subject for a different day, and one that shouldn't be discussed on here anyway, so that is all I have to say about that. Goodnight all, promise my next post wont come a week from now. Bye.