Ill-timed Intersection

Yay. I am on campus with free time, which is somehow the requirement for me to both have the urge to post and to actually do so. The past few daays have been acceptable, under the circumstances. I am actually blogging from the lawn directly next to the University Auditorium, where he and I actually shared the best few hours in my recent history, but it's alright. I am slowly coming to terms with things; it's taken longer than it probably should have, considering it only lasted a few days, and a lot of my friends have been helping me through it... but it's still really difficult. It's also something I had to finally accept for myself, rather than hearing everyone saying "oh, you can do better" and "oh, they'll be more," and having to reluctantly believe it. For some reason those tidbits of advice are just not very valuable, although they are appreciated.

The best bit of advice for this whole situation actually came from German Diction class, ironically enough. My professor was explaining how the German belief is such that the "one great love," or "die große Liebe," is so "great" because of the complexity and preciseness needed for two people to become one. I can't really say that Mike was "the one," because I have no way of knowing that or not, but the philosophy behind it is the same. She explained it as so: people ride the course of their lives in what could be visualized as a straight line, both striving towards the same goal of companionship (although differing in their level of involvement). The circumstances for this "intersection" have to be extremely precise, for in order for two lines to merge into one, both people have to be at the same "moment" in their life. If one person hasn't the same desire, or if the timing is just a tiny bit off, the intersection simply will not mesh. The person who was ready and desious, then, encounters a series of "bumps," or curves, I guess you could say, in the line of his life. The person who's timing wasnt just-on is not so severely impacted, and they continue their life not as if nothing had happened, but definitely not as "roughly" as the person whom he met. And so, the day after I met my first in a series of "bumps," I learn this bit of philosophy. I definitely related to it, and although it is unfortunate, there is something else to remember: that that one person, that große Liebe, is still out there. And so, I realized that, even if I still don't realize what Mike's place in my mind really is (because ultimately, that is where we didn't see eye-to-eye), that eventually, I will see that it isn't what I initially thougt it was but that it could be something different, and something perhaps even more rewarding.

Well, sorry to get all philosophical, but that happens on tranquil days on campus...maybe next time I will be a little more light-hearted. It's been a while since I've relayed those kinda thoughts on here. Have a great one, everybody.