8:51

What a morning. My plan was to wake up at around 7:30, shower, get dressed and go to my 8:30 theory exam. Unfortunately, the alarm clock rang, but the waking up? No. That happened at 8:51, 20 minutes late for the exam. I get up, put my contacts in, throw on a hoodie, grab a pencil, and ran to theory. I was ass-late for the last exam too, so Sam, my professor, cracked at me when I showed up at 9:05, but allowed me to take it late. I finished at about 10...thus successfully skipping my Advertising class. I go back to Beaty in just enough time to brush my teeth and grab the rest of my stuff...still no shower or breakfast....because I had to get back here for part two of the test at 10:40. I think I did better on the seventh chords than I thought I would, but worse on the intervals, of all things. I think my mind was just completely flutstered and not with it...which isnt good when taking an ear-training test. But oh well. Maybe the next exam wont be marked by such inopportune lateness. It was my own damn fault, really...I was up at 2 am last night, unable to sleep because I had just gotten a McFlurry with a friend at 1...so complaining about oversleeping seems retarded. I just hope the rest of the day isnt so scatterbrained. I don't see why it would, I am basically done for the day....practicing, hmm. I should probably do that.

Well, I guess my update is *done* ... I'll blog more later today, hopefully, If I'm in the mood...I have news on the "relationship" front as well, I guess...but yeah, later later later. Have a good stress free (unlike me) day.

::cough cough::

Sometimes and empty blog text field can be so intimidating. I have a lot of things to say but I have erased the first sentence a few times..hopefully this time I will make it to the end. This weekend has been "eh." I woke up yesterday at 9am (after only 4 hours of sleep) with a sore throat from hell. I simply couldnt get back to sleep. It fluctuated throughtout the day, I think the DayQuil helped with the fever that was also present...but my throat is still pretty bad. I woke up early this morning too...a bit more sleep thankfully but still not enough. I have a million things to do/study/read/research today...and no ambition whatsoever, especially when feeling this shitty. But oh well. I wish the tool I needed to do the research with wasnt so inherently distracting....facebook, myspace, aim...all just a click away. I wish I could practice a bit more restraint. I seriously need to start doing so because I am going to fall down a slippery slope and not be able to climb back up.

In the relationship department, I am currently keeping my options open. I am going to try my hardest not to fall for one person or the other if I can really manage it, because I don't really have the desire to fall flat on my face again anytime soon. That situation has gotten much better, I think its finally settled in that the possibility isnt there. Such is life. Thankfully, there are other possibilities out there, I just have to exhibit some patience, which isn't bad for anyone, anyway.

I feel as if this post should be longer, but alas, I also feel like I don't have much else to say. I just hope I feel better today, and that I get something accomplished. I don't necessarily know what, since practicing isn't an option..and that is most important, but oh well. I also hope this semester isn't too deadly and won't come and bite me in the ass. Well, have a good one, and go download Frou Frou - Must Be Dreaming .... it is probably the gayest music I've ever liked but the song kicks major ass. Haha. Talk to you later.

Feel-Good Friday

It's been a week since I last posted? What? I am currently bewildered as to where this week disappeared to. I guess I was in South Carolina for a portion of the time, Monday was a holiday, Tuesday felt really rushed preparing for a voice lesson that didnt end up happening, Wednesday was quite a long day as well...it just feels as if it was yesterday that I was driving to South Carolina...but it was a week ago. Damn.

Anyway, I'm doing quite well currently. I've been seeing people again, getting out of the dorm, went to Satchel's last night with the Ericas and Danny (a cool guy that actually lives in my dorm ::gasp!:: ) and it was a really fun time. School has been good, I've been meeting random people that are conincidentally in my classes, its cool to have that connection. Unfortunately, the only downside of my life right now is music: both voice lessons and music theory have taken a nose dive...in difficulty, pointlessness, and boredom. Perhaps this is a sign I should be moving on. But we'll just have to wait and see. Advertising is looking a lot more promising, there was a guest speaker today in class and he was really down to earth- didn't sugarcoat things and say it was the best career in the world, but he sounded satisfied with his life and career decisions enough to the point that it seemed like a good thing (he was engaging also, I fear, becuase he was damn cute). I'd still like to keep music, maybe drop it to a performance minor or something, but who knows. Moving on.

I guess that is my update; there will be more apartment shopping tomorrow, relaxing, worrying about practicing (or lack thereof ...its weighing heavily on my mind), and yeah. Life is decent right now; perhaps is the weather, or this Garden State Soundtrack. Who knows...good stuff though, overall. Have a great Friday, everyone.

Goodnight

I just wanted to post a little update before I went to bed. Tonight was great; Erica, Axel, and Axel's friend Jessica and I went to Dragonfly. Not only was the sushi particularly good, but our waiter was HOTT (with two T's). When I first saw him (and after Axel informed us that he was gay) I immediately felt the need to post about him. It was that...wow. All three of us (Axel knew the guy in high school and therefore wasn't overly impressed) were googly eyed and silly over the guy. James, if you're out there, you're freaking hot. There. Had to get that out of my system. Anyway back to reality. Tomorrow I get to drive to Chapin, South Carolina to visit my brother (with the duel purpose of informing him of my sexuality). I am thrilled. At least I get to see his new house, which should be awesome, because the last time I visited it was just a wooded lot with some wooden posts stuck in the ground to mark the property lines. I am looking forward to actually seeing the house (that Julie designed) in its finished state. Unfortunately the parents are driving up as well, so that kinda takes the fun out of things, but I'll have a car and the house is bigger so I can not go too insane. I am pretty excited about it. So yeah, tonight has been good. My suitemates and I chilled in the dorm for a while too, life seems so much more bearable when Sean leaves for the weekend. It's actually pretty cool...without him, I mean. He left his dirty dishes in the sink, which sucks, and I sure as hell am not cleaning them. Anyway, it's getting late, and I should prolly hit the sack. I do have a class in like, 6 hours. Fun times. Alright, have a goodnight.

Ill-timed Intersection

Yay. I am on campus with free time, which is somehow the requirement for me to both have the urge to post and to actually do so. The past few daays have been acceptable, under the circumstances. I am actually blogging from the lawn directly next to the University Auditorium, where he and I actually shared the best few hours in my recent history, but it's alright. I am slowly coming to terms with things; it's taken longer than it probably should have, considering it only lasted a few days, and a lot of my friends have been helping me through it... but it's still really difficult. It's also something I had to finally accept for myself, rather than hearing everyone saying "oh, you can do better" and "oh, they'll be more," and having to reluctantly believe it. For some reason those tidbits of advice are just not very valuable, although they are appreciated.

The best bit of advice for this whole situation actually came from German Diction class, ironically enough. My professor was explaining how the German belief is such that the "one great love," or "die große Liebe," is so "great" because of the complexity and preciseness needed for two people to become one. I can't really say that Mike was "the one," because I have no way of knowing that or not, but the philosophy behind it is the same. She explained it as so: people ride the course of their lives in what could be visualized as a straight line, both striving towards the same goal of companionship (although differing in their level of involvement). The circumstances for this "intersection" have to be extremely precise, for in order for two lines to merge into one, both people have to be at the same "moment" in their life. If one person hasn't the same desire, or if the timing is just a tiny bit off, the intersection simply will not mesh. The person who was ready and desious, then, encounters a series of "bumps," or curves, I guess you could say, in the line of his life. The person who's timing wasnt just-on is not so severely impacted, and they continue their life not as if nothing had happened, but definitely not as "roughly" as the person whom he met. And so, the day after I met my first in a series of "bumps," I learn this bit of philosophy. I definitely related to it, and although it is unfortunate, there is something else to remember: that that one person, that große Liebe, is still out there. And so, I realized that, even if I still don't realize what Mike's place in my mind really is (because ultimately, that is where we didn't see eye-to-eye), that eventually, I will see that it isn't what I initially thougt it was but that it could be something different, and something perhaps even more rewarding.

Well, sorry to get all philosophical, but that happens on tranquil days on campus...maybe next time I will be a little more light-hearted. It's been a while since I've relayed those kinda thoughts on here. Have a great one, everybody.

Addendum.

Well, I'd like to believe that happiness is fleeting...especially after the course of today's events. But, alas, it wouldn't really be a truthful thing to say. ::sigh:: I guess some things just weren't meant to be. Although it definitely sucks, and i'll be let down by others at some point in the future, i'll also experience things with amazing people for longer periods too. And I guess that's what I need to focus on right now, rather than the could-have-been's.

P.S. Thank's Will, for your help.

....Updating....

Blog blog blog. How have you been? I feel like I havent truely posted here in about a month. It has been a hectic few weeks- the new year rang in without much shabang and I have just been trying to keep up with everything that is going on. School started again and aside from the weather being completely humid and a flashback to September (where the hell did winter go?!), everything is good here. My classload is a little bit heavier this semester but not too insane; my schedule, however, is disappointing in that I can't ever really enjoy lunch on any given day of the week- class doesnt end until 1:40 and by then everyone is either busy, not on campus, Krishna food is gone, and I get to find food by myself. Also, my hours of sitting in the plaza of the Americas have been successfully sucked up (hence, the lack of blog posts...for as you know, most of my inspiration stemmed from boredom and people watching around campus)...so yeah. School is still school, and UF is still UF.

On a happier note, I finally met Mike the other day. We shared an experience I have never quite experienced before. The word that keeps flashing in my mind is "amazing..." I don't want to get sappy and sound like a moron, so I will leave it at that: he is just amazing and he makes me smile all over. Seriously.

So yeah, I am a happy guy. Erica, Erica, Katy and I went apartment shopping yesterday too- the glimmer of hope that I will not be in Beaty next semester is just a wonderful wonderful thing. My own bathroom? A full size bed? No real "room"mate? It is just too good to be true; so the bus ride is going to suck...but all in all, the trade off is tremendous. I seriously can't wait to get out of here!!

::happy sigh:: I think I am done- I have a lot of nice things to occupy my mind and I am not going to question it. Have a good one everybody!

I am still alive...

Well, I'm back. I still feel as I've felt for the past week, that is, I still feel as if I have not a whole lot to discuss, but I guess I owe my blog and its readers a post. Post-Christmas was, as per usual, not the lovliest of weeks. A lot has happened, but for some reason I haven't felt like talking about it here- I am not quite sure what it was that prompted me to take a week long sabbatical from the blog, but really, it doesn't matter. Even now, as my parents argue, I can't seem to verbalize what is on my mind. I don't want to disappoint with this post, but my mind is so clouded that I cant make sense out of it in the form of a post. So I guess I am going to end it and try to post later when I can make sense out of something. I just wanted to let everyone know that I wasn't dead. Happy New Year (a little late) and see you next time, which will not be a week+ from now, I promise.